Palm Trees Have Shallow Roots

I was watching Simon working in the yard this morning as I sipped my coffee, and thinking about all that's gone on in the last few weeks. How unpredictable life is!

You know, you go through the "what ifs," and in those daydreams it's natural to simplify the scenarios.

What if I'm in an awful crash that leaves me with one leg? What if one of the boys gets horribly injured during a training exercise, or comes back from combat with PTSD?

Thankfully, nearly all those imaginings never come to pass, and even when they do, I guess it's like everything else, it's never the same as you imagine it will be. I went through my folks' deaths with that same haunted feeling that I wasn't experiencing grief the way I had imagined I would -- or thought I should.

It's so much more complex, isn't it? You recognize the dread that you'd anticipated. You know you could take the dark path to worst cases, but you also know you have a choice.

How well can you balance dealing with hard realities and living in hope? Or maybe the better question is, how can you possibly survive the hard realities without living in hope?

As for me, I think when you turn inward, you whittle yourself away, bit by bit. That's when the walls start to close in.

As for now, in this interesting time, prayers buoy us from all directions. Thank you all!!

Now, as Laura and I thrive in your care and concern, I know some of you don't need to hear blow by blow.

My intent for this blog is to help you catch up when and however much you want to. (And it's also good for me to be able to express some of what's stewing inside.)

More detail, FYI:

1. Several weeks ago, Laura was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer after initial mammogram and biopsy.
2. We discuss a relatively simple surgery with the doctor, trying to decide whether or not to accept the risk of not doing radiation treatments along with cancer excision. The surgery was scheduled for August 11. Today. "But you really should have an MRI. It can pick up things the mammography can't."
   
   We believe the doctor is being conservative.
   
   
3. MRI shows more involvement in the same breast.
4. Laura has an additional biopsy of that site. Yes, it's more of the same.
5. Conversation with the surgeon. Mastectomy now really seems the only option, and it depends on sentinel nodes examined during surgery whether chemo will also be required.

The surgery will be next month.

At this point, signs are still very good. The characteristics of this cancer mean it's less invasive. Our hopes are high that nodes won't be involved, and that with the mastectomy, it can be a matter of healing the incision and having follow-up exams every six months.